MyLink+

Got the MyLink+ yesterday, and started using it today. I was glad that it came fully charged from Phonak. I started using it today with my patients for word recognition. It was kind've cumbersome. The Cochlear Freedom has an awesome integrated FM receiver built into the battery rack. The Freedom processor recognizes the receiver and automatically syncs to the FM transmitter.

With the Nucleus 5, I now have to use the t-coil to connect to the MyLink which is able to receive the input from the FM transmitter. The t-coil can be problematic because I can't stay in the t-coil mode (even though I have 1:1 ratio), because I will pick up interference when I walk near certain pieces of equipment and so forth. I also have to turn the MyLink off because the booklet didn't tell me how the battery will last if I keep it on all day. Because I want to preserve the life, i'm been shutting it off. However, it's tucked under my shirt, so I keep having to go under my tie and turning it. The process goes where I have to turn the t-coil on, then turn on the MyLink, then turn on the FM transmitter. I have to do this in that order. If I turn the t-coil off, and then back, I then have to turn the MyLink off, and then back on again, and then turn the FM transmitter on. With the Freedom, all I have to do is just turn the processor on with the integrated battery/receiver, and I can continue to turn the FM transmitter on and off, and have it work as it should.

Overall, there is a lot more steps involved to getting up and running with the FM.

However, now that I went through that whole saga... the sound quality is great! It's great to be able to hear out of both ears now! The sound quality seems richer and more full. Another success with going bilateral!

Call2Recycle

I'm late on the earth day band wagon, but for all those of disposing batteries (with my two processors, I go through an average of 2 batteries a day, now!)... here is a great link: http://www.call2recycle.org/ where you can enter your zipcode and it'll tell you where you can dispose of your batteries! I had no idea that the Radio Shack 3 blocks from my house takes the batteries!

Small panic!

It's so funny, i'm going on just 12 days with my new processor, but I'm already relying so much on it. I was in the middle of testing a patient, and I went to get up to counsel the patient her results, and my new processor died (the batteries ran out). I didn't have a chance to change the batteries, as I was basically in the booth about to give the results. It was fine, my Freedom was working fine, but in my head I was thinking how strange and uncomfortable it was just to be wearing one processor. I just knew that I feel 100% better wearing both processors, than just one. Another great realization that I did the best thing for me!

I also got my MyLink+ today so that I can use the FM with my "new ear" too for booth testing. Was going to bring it home and play with with it, but I left it at work... Oh well, I'll update you on that later on this week with how that goes!

Good Night!

Amusing Comic!

source: http://www.davideo.tv/

This was posted on the "Association of Audiologists with Hearing Loss" facebook group. The part about the deaf audiologists is funny, as I am one, and there are 33 members of the facebook! Granted with having a hearing loss and being a practicing audiologist there are some challenges. However technology has come so far that it's entirely possible for people with hearing loss to function as a capable audiologist among their hearing cohort.

I have only felt discriminated once because of my hearing loss in the field of audiology. When I was applying for a 4th year externship, I was on interview at a local hospital in Boston. The director of the facility grilled me on how I would be able to do word recognition testing? Word recognition testing, for those who don't know, is where words are presented to the patient, and the patient needs to repeat the words back. This can be presented by the audiologist (using spoken voice), or by using recorded material. Recorded material is the gold standard, because with many audiologists, it's hard to standardize and account for all the variables with this testing. Using standardized material takes the audiologist' own variable out of the equation.

Anyhow, I"m on this interview, and the director asks me how I will be able to do word recognition testing. I said that my preferred method is recorded material. He then countered that his clinic was far to busy for recorded material to be efficient, and then how else would I be able to do it. I stated that while recorded material is the gold standard, monitored live voice was always another option. He then asked how I would be able to present the words with having a hearing loss, and having speech that is affected by my hearing loss? At this point, I didn't really know how to respond, other than, that this has never been an issue in the past. That is when he said that my hearing loss was an "elephant in the room." My blood was boiling at this interview. I politely finished my day at this facility, and ultimately withdrew my application after my interview. This wasn't a place that I wanted to work at.

That was and is my only experience where I have had an negative reaction to my hearing loss. My 4th year externship and current place of employment has and is amazing in how accepting they have been of me. I'm very fortunate (that seems to be a common theme in these posts as of late!).

One Week Update!

So today was my one week mapping session! Let me just update first on how things have been up 'til today and then I will update on today. It's been awhile since I blogged bout this so bare with me if I'm redundant!

First off... the tinnitus is GONE! Thank goodness! When I do have it, it's very very minimal and I am able to forget about it. The new ear is so powerful! It just dominates what I am hearing! It's amazing, I would say I was hearing my voice 90% from the new ear, and 10% from the old ear. This isn't to say the old ear wasn't helping me. This isn't the case at all. It gave me the clarity that I don't have with the new ear. Also, the first few days, everything was like a fog. I couldn't quite understand what people were saying. However, now things are just clearing right up! I have been having Jase talk to me with his hand covering his mouth and saying random thoughts and words and repeating back to him. It has gotten a lot easier! I have also been hearing so much more sounds and noises! I can hear Jason cough and sneeze from the other room! I can hear the water swishing in the anti-freeze jug in the car (which drives me CRAZY)! I'm just hearing so much MORE!

People have asked me if I miss the hearing aid. It was strange to hear this question because I have almost all but forgotten the hearing aid! I do not miss it all, or feel that the aid gave me something the new implant didn't give me. Thank goodness! I would be devastated if that were the case. Someone asked if I can perceive a difference at night, when I'm not wearing my processors. I do not notice that I am now without any residual hearing. I truly do not notice that. Again, another question I had not thought of.

This was a fast week, and I just loved it. I have been switching the new ear and the old ear on and off, so I can see, comparatively, how I am hearing. Is it softer with just the old ear? Do I feel like I'mhearing more with both? The answer is always a resoundingly yes! I hear better with both!

So that's the background for what brings us to today. I had my one week mapping session with my MEEI audiologist, MBT (or as someone nicknamed her today... Mandy-bular!). At one week, I am hearing and understanding 52% of the words in my new ear (52% whole word, 72% phonemic), and with both processors (new and old), I understand 90% of the words (90% whole word, 97% phonemic)!

Just to put all this into perspective... I was hearing 32% alone with my hearing aid on that new side. That is an improvement of 20%! And I am only at one week! With the implant plus hearing aid I was getting 92% (92% whole word, 97% phonemically). So 90% today (with two implants) vs. 92% (cochlear implant and hearing aid) is the difference of me missing just ONE word today.

So basically, today's test results validated that I did the right thing for me. I am already getting just slightly more than 50% at 1 week, and I can only improve from here. It is a wonderful feeling to be so fortunate with my successful outcome.

This Is Apple's Next iPhone - Iphone 4 - Gizmodo

This Is Apple's Next iPhone - iPhone 4 - Gizmodo

I can hardly contain my excitement! As most of you know i'm a wicked big iPhone junkie. The iPhone has my life in it and don't know where I'd be without it! (I'm so dramatic for just a phone!).

Anyways, I had a big whole big blog idea that I wanted to do... I wanted to do the comparison between the Nucleus 5 and the Freedom and my thoughts on the differences and so forth. I was supposed to do this after my run tonite... My run which never happened because Jace lost his wallet. From then on, I spent quite a bit on the phone cancelling credit cards, finding our passports, looking up how to obtain a new social security card (NEVER CARRY THIS AROUND). Anyhoo... turned me into a cranky old man!

So now i'm settling into The Office and How I Met Your Mother on DVR...

Not much of an update...

So not much of an update here really... it's been a few days since I was remapped. I am currently on progressive map #3 (out of 4, which is the loudest program). I still hear a high pitch hum when I wear the new "ear." It's hard to say if the hum is coming from the map that I am hearing with, or if my hearing with the new processor causes the hum, or tinnitus, to occur. The reason i'm not sure is because as soon as I turn the new processor off, the tinnitus immediately changes tonal quality and then dies down, and completely goes away.

I've been trying different situations out though. I've been listening to music, and I still enjoy it the way I used too. It's not like i've been missing the hearing aid. I don't feel like I wish I didn't get this processor because the hearing aid provided something. I definitely do not feel that way at all.

I was in the car with Jason and I asked him to stop clicking whatever it was that he was clicking. He turned to me and said that it wasn't him making a clicking sound, but rather, I was hearing the windshield wiper fluid swish back and forth in it's canister! It's amazing at the different sounds I can hear. I was able to say "God Bless You" when Jace sneezed in a different room!

At work, when I was testing a patient, I was wearing headphones while doing word recognition testing, and I could hear the CD announce the words through the headphones! I also went out with a bunch of people from work twice this week, and I also felt I was able to follow along with a majority of the conversation and not miss out. I'm not sure if I would have done that much differently with just the one implant or the one implant plus hearing aid.

All I can say for sure right now is that I'm definitely glad I'm back on the air with two "ears" as I feel much more balanced and more comfortable. It's amazing how much input I get from the 2nd ear though. When I listen to myself speak, I hear my voice mostly from the new implant. It's incredible!

Anyhow... enough about that! I've had a great weekend, with LOTS of food! I need to get back on the WW wagon and get some exercise in. I was doing so well with the scale, however, after this weekend, I have definitely done some damage! I have a tapeworm I swear! I just want to EAT, EAT, EAT! It's okay though, I know I'm itching to get back to the gym and will do so tomorrow! However, later on today, I'm going to my parents, for a very belated St. Patrick's Day corned beef and cabbage dinner!

Today was a good day!

So I just woke up today, super excited for today, just because I now have my new processor. Things are just going so well with the new ear. I can hear so much, and so well. It's just amazing how it all sounds to me. I was talking to Mandy this morning about how, even with my voice, I can hear and understand myself well because of the old processor, but the new processor is contributing so much that I can hear it's contribution in my voice. Mandy brought up a great point though, I am hearing about 10 dB better than I do with my current Freedom.

Anyways, I was already in program 3 today, and Mandy wanted to check my impedances. They came down very dramatically, so we actually remapped me today and gave me new progressive maps. The roaring, high pitch whinnying sound that I was hearing yesterday is still present, but it seems more manageable than it did yesterday. I can hear people and words, but they are not all that clear. It'll get there though, I can already tell that it's clearer today than it was yesterday. Next week, Mandy will put in the booth and get some data on really how I am doing. I will keep you all posted on that.

In other news, today was my first run outdoors! Went with some great MEEI folks! It was awesome. We did about 4 miles, however, I needed to stop a bunch of times. Running indoors on a treadmill does NOT prepare you for the outside! Funny story though, I grabbed two left shoes when I left the house! Haha, a coworker/friend came up with a savvy solution and found an old woman's pair (size 10) shoes that fit me pretty decently that I used for the run... As always... I have pictures :)

A Video!

My activation where I get turned on. The video ends pretty abruptly... but you get the point.

Here is another shot of Mandy placing the processor on me!
So overall, i'm in an awesome place! I'm already in program 2 right now, and already tried out program 3. I can tolerate it, but don't want to overdo it right now! HAHA! Anyways... I'll keep y'all posted!

Whoa! I'm ACTIVATED!!

Without realizing it, today became my activation day! I have been itching to go "back on the ear" with my left ear. I haven't felt lost without my hearing aid, but I definitely missed my hearing aid. I'm at peace that the hearing aid is gone, I now want the new processor! So the Associate Director, Mike, asked me today at work, "why not activate you today?" Well isn't that a good question?! We got the go ahead from my awesome surgeon, and my managing CI audiologist, Mandy, was available! We were on track to hooking me up today! I was so excited!

Mandy and I got everything ready. My profile on the computer was made, we loaded it up, connected the shiny new processor... it won't connect... troubleshooted, troubleshooted, and more troubleshooted... verdict: first processor: out of the box failure! Rare, it does happen. Luckily they send two processors! The 2nd processor gets connected to the computer, and the computer recognizes it! Success!

We ran impedances. This is a measurement that checks how well my internal electrode array is interfacing with the tissue/anatomy of my inner ear. The impedances were a bit high, but this is standard as this is the first time the electrode array was being stimulated. We then moved on to the mapping where we measured the softest sounds that I could hear, and then we went LIVE! Mandy increased my C's (comfort levels) to a level of loudness that I could comfortably tolerate. Man! How different it all was! The sound that was most prevalent was a high pitch "whinnying" sound (the only way I can describe it) that I was hearing constantly. It reminded me of tinnitus, however, this sound goes away when the processor turns off. It is something in the environment that I am hearing. We brought me into the booth and my average thresholds in the booth were 25 dB... this is consistent with borderline normal/mild hearing loss thresholds! Pretty awesome considering I was hearing all this just outside of an hour after programming!

After work, I went out to dinner at Panera, and could hear so many different sounds with the new processor. The ice being dumped into the soda machine, and the pagers vibrating as people's orders were ready! It was insane. I can hear everything so clearly with my old Freedom processor, and the clear sounds merge with my new Nucleus 5 processor in a really cool way. I feel very balanced! It's incredible!

I came home and took off the Freedom, and am wearing only the new Nucleus 5 alone. I went to the bathroom, and could hear the water running (and a few other things I won't mention!). I could hear Jason sneeze, and I can hear myself type on the keyboard. I can even hear Jason typing on the couch beside me with his laptop! I'm really very very excited for all that is going on with this processor! It's going to be awesome!

So I took a bunch of photos:

First Day Back!

I'm beat, but I promised if I would do this blog I would write on pivotal things... going back to work today after the surgery, without a hearing aid is pretty big! Well needless to say, i'm EXHAUSTED! Work itself was great. I work with wonderful people, and have wonderful patients. One patient made me cookies today! Anyhow, like I mentioned in a previous entry, I don't feel like i'm "struggling" or doing any differently going CI alone. However, today... while I didn't feel like I was missing out, I definitely missed my security blanket of a hearing aid. I just feel very lopsided and cannot wait to get to hearing something again on that ear. I'm getting so excited just thinking about the weekend! I will be bilateral by Friday evening! Overall, it was good to be back, but I am just so beat! I need a good night's sleep!

Last Day!

I go back to work tomorrow so today's the last day of my stay at home recuperation. I'm looking forward to getting back to work, however, I'm still anxious to do it without a hearing aid. Should be fine though. So it's funny... now that I have had this week off I have adjusted to not having the hearing aid.

I've done a lot of different things with various people, and a lot of people have commented that they feel I don't do any different now, without the hearing aid, than I did before. This discussion came up yesterday before attending my aunt's wedding. There were to be 80 people in a noisy room (with a DJ), so I was just sort've taking it all in. In actuality, I really don't think I noticed the hearing aid being gone. The music didn't sound any different, and could still recognize the songs as they came on (Play that funky music, white boy!). So at this point, I think I'm more content/okay with the fact that the hearing aid is gone. I'm definitely glad I have had this time off though to adjust to that so that when I do head to work tomorrow, I have had a change to adjust to using my CI only.

Anyhow, on the flip side, everyone noticed and commented on how good I looked. This week i'm flirting with the 40 pounds lost mark! It's insane! There was a photographer at the wedding, so we took new family photos. I cannot wait to see how they turned out!

Have a good weekend everyone, and enjoy this beautiful day!

A week and a day...

...since surgery! It's amazing how time how flown by! So I waited for a week and a day to update this because today was my post-op with Dr. Smullen. It was wonderful to see her again. I had butterflies, and I'm not sure why. It's not like it'll be my fault if I didn't heal well or something? However, everything went swimmingly. She said my incision site is healing well, and that while my ear is slightly extended, it will pull itself back toward my head within a few weeks when the swelling goes down. Overall, I have very minimal pain. I am relatively pain free. I get moments where I feel a quick "pin-prick" sensation in my middle ear, this is due to the blood that is still in the middle ear space. I have minimal popping now, and virtually no tinnitus. I no longer have to use bacitracin on the incision, and the stitches have started to fall out (they can fall out just after 3 days!). So all in all, i'm doing great! I'm really excited because also in one week (April 16th) is my activation!!

Just a few pictures...
The above picture is just showing how my ear is still slightly extended from my head in comparison to the other ear (with the cochlear implant on it).


This picture is showing the incision site 8 days out. Looks great to me!

I'm Lucky!

The best part about this surgery has been all the wonderful attention! Here are some of the lovely flowers I have received! My recovery is going very well. I've been sleeping a lot. Not sure if that is because I have had surgery, or if it's because I am home. The recuperation has been fairly good. The only thing I'm experiencing now is a stiff neck on my left side, and also a pain sensation that occurs every so often in my middle ear. I don't remember ever having an ear infection, but it feels like I have one. This would make sense as the doctor told me my middle ear would be filled with fluid/blood. I am seeing her on Friday for my post-op, so I will let you know how that goes.
I also went for a walk with my mother yesterday that felt awesome. It was 4 miles over 70 minutes, so not a brisk walk by any means, but it got me out and moving. Some of you may know that I have taken to running over the past few months, so to slow down has me somewhat on edge. I'm also doing Weight Watchers, and with the surgery and emotions running high, I didn't make the best decisions with eating. However, as of this morning I'm down .2 pounds from where I was the Friday before surgery! So all in all, I'm in great shape.
I'm about to head out for a walk now to get some coffee at the local Trapelo Mobil!

Yummy!

A coworker from MEEI brought me some yummy banana bread! I have already had 3 slices! Thanks Sylvia!!

Exhausted

It's amazing how the body recuperates after surgery. Yesterday, I was itching to move around, so we went to my parent's house, and you would have thought I had run a marathon. By the time I came home last night I could barely keep my eyes open! Was in bed by 9pm, but I slept really well, and slept until 7am! Today I get to take my first shower! I'm so excited for that shower!!

A few more pictures that I think are awesome!

Here is Dr. Smullen holding the internal device just as she's about to implant it into my ear.
Here is the gorgeous NRT responses. These responses indicate that the electrodes that are now in my inner ear (the cochlea) are now able to electrically stimulate my auditory nerve (which is what we want to see).

Here is another shot of me in post-recovery with Mandy after she nudged me awake :)

That's all I have for you folks! Have a great holiday, or great weekend, whatever you happen to be celebrating right about now!

My hearing aid...

So weird little revelation... as some of you may know, or not know, when you go for a cochlear implant, you are pretty much guaranteed to lose your residual hearing. Whatever you have left, you have to be pretty comfortable saying good bye to it before your surgery. That is why, before my surgery, I was so worried. The hearing aid has been my constant companion for going on 23 years now.

However, nowadays, it's possible, albeit very slim, that your hearing could be possibly preserved. Like I said very slim possibility. I tried it immediately yesterday after the bandage came off, I did not hear anything with the hearing aid. I was okay with that. I had this revelation 7 years ago with my other ear. Good bye hearing aid. However, I know a little bit more now, than I did then... (I would like to hope so, since I did just graduate with a doctorate in audiology). I know now that my middle ear is filled with blood, always happens after CI surgery. Filling the middle ear with fluid, is much like an ear infection. It will diminish what sounds you can hear, and if there is a lot of fluid, you will hear minimally at best... Fluid should resolve though, the blood in my middle ear should go away. So why not keep trying the hearing aid daily, just for shits and giggles?!

Today, I put it on after my very nice Eucalyptus bath that my mother got for me from Bath and Body Works. I smell quite nice now, but I digress. I could actually hear sound from the hearing aid! I could hear the start up tones and really low frequency tonal information. It felt like I had water in my ear. Again, who knows what the hearing will be like in that ear? I turned the aid off and left the mold in just to see if I was hearing occlusion, and I definitely wasn't. I was hearing amplification from the hearing aid. What does this mean? Nothing. I still will obviously use my new nucleus 5 implant. But it was a nice surprise to hear something today. Maybe I have more residual hearing that I will discover once all the remaining fluid resolves, maybe I won't.

The Ringing!

My left ear will not stop ringing! It just rings and rings. Sounds like a horror movie sound track with ghosts moaning. It happens every time I shift positions which is often as I'm trying to get into a comfortable position to sleep. So now i'm up with the birds reading a book. That's really all I have for you this morning. I've been putting bacitricin on the incision and it feels surprisingly okay, not sore or tender as I thought. Anyhow... please send positive thoughts so that my head my quiet down :)

Some photos are trickling in...

Here is an awesome photo of Dr. Smullen holding the Nucleus CI512 internal electrode array as she's about to implant this into my inner ear.

Bandage is off!

Just took the bandage off, and of course, we took pictures. I actually have side by side comparisons of what it looks like today, versus the incision made last time, May 16, 2003.

April 2nd, 2010 (1 day after surgery)


















May 20, 2003 (4 days after surgery)














So the biggest visible differences are that my hair wasn't shaved, and the incision is much shorter today than it was back in 2003. The surgeon used a minimally invasive technique which is much popular now. To me it looks fantastic. I still cannot believe this is all over and behind me now! All I have to look forward to is some recuperation (which I'm not doing well with, I do not know how to sit still), and then it's on to my activation.I also took my first bath today, and it's my first bath ever in our condo :) Mr. Bubbles accompanied me to the tub today! Alright, I have a book and some sunshine calling my name!

Surgery is over!

So all my fears yesterday were unfounded thankfully! I was so so nervous going into the surgery. After I checked in, and it all became real, I started to get weepy. Wondering if I was making the right decision about giving up my hearing aid and the whole 9 yards. Scared of the surgery and the outcome.

I was told to be at the hospital for 7:30 for a 9:30 surgery. When I got there at 7:30, everything happened so fast! I was taken back to meet with the nurse who took my blood pressure and temperature within about 20 minutes, then followed anesthesia. This is when I was told to say good bye to my family. The waterworks began here just because now I went back to the holding area and was alone. Had to change into my gurney and wait. Met an awesome gentleman named Tanye who lightened the mood which was great.

From there they took me to the surgical floor. I saw a former co-op student, now employee at the infirmary, and I mouthed to her "i'm freaking out" which was about all I could say before letting the tears fall (yet again)! She was sweet and offered to call Mike, my supervisor, and he came down to see me. I told him my fears, "am I doing the right thing? what if I miss this hearing aid"? It was just nice to hear him reassure me that I am making the right the decision for myself. Mike and Cara were able to bring my family back, so I got to see them one more time.

I told my anesthesiologist about the movie "Awake" and he explained to me everything that could wrong and how they work to prevent that. They connected me at this point to the IV, and gave me the "happy cocktail." Felt like I was on cloud nine! Dr Smullen, my surgeon, came back and talked to me a bit before we got started. This is when I found out they wouldn't put a catheter in me! YAY!

From this point on, i'm feeling good, and I'm then brought to the surgical unit. And that's when the lights went out. Next thing I know, i'm waking up in the recovery room. Get this... No dizziness, no paint, no vomiting. It was bliss. The only thing that I did experience was the extreme urge to go to the bathroom! They let me do my business and I was feeling good! They brought me back up to the last holding area where I could see my family. This is where they wanted My mom, my partner, and my sister were waiting for me. I had to eat and drink some juice at this point, which I was grateful for. I had a terrible taste in my mouth, of plastic basically from the breathing tube. I was able to see my family, and had a cute little gift/message from Mandy, an audiologist, co-worker and friend! So at this point, i'm starting to feel slightly nauseous... and have to use the bathroom again! Nancy gave me anti-nausea medicine, and liquid percoset. She was very hesitant to let me use the bathroom, as I was "breaking protocol..." but you know me and my charm ;-) I won, was able to to go the bathroom. Nancy told me that if I let myself fall asleep, I would wake up feeling better...

I slept over an hour! I woke up to some gentle rubbing. Mandy and Mike came to visit. I'm so glad they did because when I woke up I felt AWESOME. The rest of my family came back. Mandy showed me my impedances and NRT responses, and they were beautiful. Everything was better than I could have ever expected. Mandy also gave me a card that the staff signed for me. Very touching.

My mother kept saying I received the presidential treatment. From start to finish, everything was wonderful with the infirmary. I am extremely grateful that this is all behind me. They let me go home shortly after. What a difference this car ride home was from the one I did 7 years ago for the first surgery. I felt every bump in the road, and the vertigo was horrific, and thought I would vomit at every stop light. Not at all the case!

My father met us at the condo with dinner and ice cream :) I was able to eat everything a delicious dinner. I have to take small bites as if I take a bigger bite, I do feel minimal/slight discomfort. After that, I took my oxycodone right at my allotted time because I was scared that the pain may come on, and that I was lulled into a false security because of the happy meds. So I took that pill right at 7, and I was able to take a pill every 4 hours. Well, I passed out long before I could take the next pill. I woke up this morning at 6:30ish and haven't needed a pain pill! I did take tylenol and my antibiotics this morning.

All in all, I know this is a long blogging post, but I'm just so so grateful at how great I feel, that the room is standing still, that I haven't been sick, and that I'm able to eat my solids. I can still hear well since I have my other implant, and I can see (as I have had vision correction surgery since my first implant). I'm a like bionic man :)

I will post soon with pictures! I hear there are lots of pictures and videos out there of me!

Slightly Freaking Out...

Today's the day! It's about 5:47am, and I woke up at about 5:30, so not too bad. I got to sleep for about 7 hours straight, which is better than I was hoping for! I woke up and all these thoughts started running through my head... namely the movie "AWAKE!" Remember that movie? Hayden Christiansen (sp?) goes under for surgery, but is awake for the whole thing, and his body is paralyzed so he can't or do anything about it! So naturally, once I started thinking about that, I started freaking out, and thus not able to fall back to sleep!

My thoughts then trailed to that even if i'm under anesthesia, what if I feel like the surgery is long, and I can't wake up from it. I don't know if this makes sense, but I'm talking about something similar to when you go to sleep at night. Say you sleep for 7-8 hours, it doesn't feel like you were sleeping for 7-8 hours, time passes so much more quickly. However, once you are awake, you start to recall your time during sleeping. For me, when I recall it, I recall basically a black/grey screen/hole of time that was passing while sleeping, and thereby, I have this percept of how long I really was asleep for. I'm afraid i'm going to be aware of my black screen during my surgery??
Started wondering about the hearing aid again, and how much I will miss it. I think I will miss up until the point of where I just don't have auditory input to that ear. Hopefully that will go away once I am activated on April 16th.

Alright, i'm off to take my last shower for three days and to shave...

-Mark

PS. For those who don't know... today (April 1st at 9:30am) is my cochlear implant surgery for my left ear. I had my first cochlear implant surgery for my right ear May 16, 2003. I had such good success with that first implant, i'm tempting fate by getting a second.