Slightly Freaking Out...

Today's the day! It's about 5:47am, and I woke up at about 5:30, so not too bad. I got to sleep for about 7 hours straight, which is better than I was hoping for! I woke up and all these thoughts started running through my head... namely the movie "AWAKE!" Remember that movie? Hayden Christiansen (sp?) goes under for surgery, but is awake for the whole thing, and his body is paralyzed so he can't or do anything about it! So naturally, once I started thinking about that, I started freaking out, and thus not able to fall back to sleep!

My thoughts then trailed to that even if i'm under anesthesia, what if I feel like the surgery is long, and I can't wake up from it. I don't know if this makes sense, but I'm talking about something similar to when you go to sleep at night. Say you sleep for 7-8 hours, it doesn't feel like you were sleeping for 7-8 hours, time passes so much more quickly. However, once you are awake, you start to recall your time during sleeping. For me, when I recall it, I recall basically a black/grey screen/hole of time that was passing while sleeping, and thereby, I have this percept of how long I really was asleep for. I'm afraid i'm going to be aware of my black screen during my surgery??
Started wondering about the hearing aid again, and how much I will miss it. I think I will miss up until the point of where I just don't have auditory input to that ear. Hopefully that will go away once I am activated on April 16th.

Alright, i'm off to take my last shower for three days and to shave...

-Mark

PS. For those who don't know... today (April 1st at 9:30am) is my cochlear implant surgery for my left ear. I had my first cochlear implant surgery for my right ear May 16, 2003. I had such good success with that first implant, i'm tempting fate by getting a second.